Mexico 2019
Hi friends,
Over the summer, my family and I made an unforeseen treck to Mexico. My last remaining grandfather had been ill and at an elderly age, passed. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to see him one last time before his death, but I do feel grateful to have seen him last year when he visited us.
In my life, death has struck my immediate family on a couple of occasions. Each time I've found there to be a level of pain and hurt, but I come from a family that doesn't show much emotion. It's only been now as an adult having gone through some personal therapy that I've been able to process my actions and realize how I cope with situations. I can count the few times I have seen my parents cry. As a child, I quickly realized that boys were tough.
From an early age, you're taught to be fuerte, and the media reinforced these lessons. For the longest time, I had found it easier to disassociate and push past my emotions and keep my "level headed attitude." But that hasn't proven to be the best approach. I fell into the same path during this time. Even as I stood there looking down at my deceased grandfather with watery eyes, I couldn't let go. I've realized that I have built these barriers that hold me back. I've been working on being more vulnerable and now feel comfortable crying in front of my partner, but I have more work to do. Under emotional situations, I become this observer and put on my smirk. The wall goes up, and I hide from feeling and processing my emotions and all that comes with them.
I picked up my camera and started to photograph away. I was using this skill to find light in the situation and heal. I used my time in Mexico to cherish the moments with my family. The passing of my grandfather was sad, but it brought us all together. I spent almost two weeks with my parents and siblings in Mexico, and we just existed. Away from the hustle and bustle on my grandmother's ranch. It was challenging to be away, especially at that moment because I'm freelancing, but that's life. I used this time to reflect, mourn in my way, and cherished the moments I had with my family in Mexico.
I hope you all like the imagery and like always thank you for stopping by.
-Javi
